Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Garza Commits Major 'No-No'

Yes, yet another no-hitter yesterday in this, 2010, the Year of the Pitcher.

After five no-hitters this season, the no-hitter still lacks a great nickname. The grand slam has the grand salami, and the perfect game has the perfecto. A "perfecto" is also a cigar that is thick in the middle and tapered on the ends, according to Merriam -Webster. It's a delightful cigar to have after a grand salami sandwich.

Speaking of grand salamis, Rays outfielder Matt Joyce gave Garza a little breathing room after slugging a salami in the sixth.

But what's another term for a no-hitter? Some call it a no-no, which isn't a very good term. No-no is already in use as something you tell your children not to do, such as run across the street with scissors without wearing pants.

I remember Mets announcer Ralph Kiner (not yet a "former" Mets announcer, because he still makes cameos on sunny home Sundays) would refer to no-hitters as "no-hit, no-run games." It was a cumbersome, clunky and style-bereft phrase to say the least--the opposite of today's slick ESPN patter. Fortunately, the Mets are one of but two teams without a no-hitter (the Padres also have no no-no), so Kiner didn't have to utter "no-hit, no-run game" very often.

(It always sort of sucks when one of the newbie teams throws a no-hitter, such as the D-backs' Edwin Jackson and Randy Johnson; the Marlins' Al Leiter, Kevin Brown, A.J. Burnett and Anibal Sanchez; and the Rays' Garza, adding insult to the Mets'--and Pods' no-no injury. "The only tourists in Cabo San Lucas without a tan," according to ESPN's Jerry Crasnick of the two teams.)
ESPN.com referred to Garza's accomplishment as a "no-no."

Tampa's Bay News 9 called it, simply, a "no-hitter." The reporter did note that the opposing hurler, Max Scherzer, had a "no-no" until the sixth inning.

The Tampa Tribune didn't stray from the "no-hitter" term either. Carl Crawford told the TT: "Feels good to finally be on the right side," as the Rays had been no-hit three times in the past year.

That's a real no-no for a team with an eye on the pennant.

All these sportwriters sitting around in the press box, and armchair pundits out there in the blogosphere, and no one can come up with a good nickname for the no-hitter.

[image: AP/ESPN.com]


Papa said...

Some words just can't be improved---non hit game sounds worse

pixie horncoffee said...

It bothers me that even no-hitters in which the hitless team scores are called "no-nos".

"No-no" is a contraction of "no-hit, no-run game". If they score a run, it's simply a "No", singular. But what was wrong with "no-hitter"?

Some plankhead obviously thought "no-hitter" had one syllable too many, and no-no was easier to say. I suspect it was an ESPN anchor.

Beyond that, "no-no" belongs to a group of phrases that have only come into vogue in recent years (i.e., "walk-off" homer/single/walk, etc.) and thus reminds me of an era in which greed, steroids and avaricious marketing have become the game's hallmarks. "No-no" should go and take "walk-off" with it.