A-Rod Would Like His PB&J Now

A darkly lit, leathery steak-and-whiskey joint might be described as "clubby."

Tweak the suffix a bit, and you've got the poor schlubs who service Major League ballplayers' every whim in the stadium clubhouses. Known as "clubbies," they're essentially concierges that are also tasked with laundering jockstraps.

It sounds like a mostly miserable job, except for the fact that players lavish the clubbies with the kind of tips one might associate with guys who make $15 mil a year. Visiting players rip off mighty checks after the team wraps up a road series; I'm not sure how frequently home players settle their clubbie tabs.

After the Yankees' clean sweep of Oakland this week, including a two-homer, five rib-eye steak night from A-Rod Tuesday, the A's clubbies might be in a position to reap some major tippage.

We mention A-Rod because the guy has a special relationship with clubbies, notes Tom Verducci and Joe Torre in The Yankee Years:

One of the first things Rodriguez did as a Yankee was to ask for his personal clubhouse assistant. The Yankees typically employ four or five young adults in their clubhouse and another three or four in the visiting clubhouse to run all sorts of errands, such as picking up and washing dirty laundry, cleaning and shining spikes, ordering and stocking clubhouse food, etc. They are drones known as "clubbies" to the players. Rodriquez wanted his own clubbie.

The Yankees, notes Verd-orre, had never heard of such a thing.

A-Rod and Yankees chief clubbie Lou Cucuzza struck a deal: So the rest of the Yankees wouldn't suffer from a dimished clubbie staff, the Yankees would take a clubbie from the visiting clubhouse and have him be "on call" for A-Rod at all times.

"On call" turned out to be essentially "24/7."

Rodriguez would have his personal clubbie lay out his practice and game clothes each night, in the manner of a dresser for a king. When Rodriguez needed something--such as a bottle of water during batting practice or stretching--he would call his clubbie and the clubbie would come running.

When the Yankees were on the road, A-Rod was often lost without his own on-call clubbie.

One time in Detroit, when his personal attendant was not available, Rodriguez was jogging off the field after batting practice, saw a Comercia Park visiting clubhouse attendant, a young kid in his first months on the job, and simply barked, "Peanut butter and jelly."

We have something similar in concept here at work. They're called summer interns.

But you can't get them to so much as copy something for you, much less whip you up a PB&J.

[image: blogs.seattleweekly.com]