Strasburg a 'Sensational', 'Spectacular' 'Stunner'

Sportswriters need some new terms to describe Stephen Strasburg, says word ref Delia Cabe on Boston.com. "Wunderkind" is overdone when talking about the Nats', well, wunderkind, she opines in her "All the Cliches Fit to Print" essay.

Cabe writes:

Wunderkind. Did you hear about Washington Nationals pitcher Stephen Strasburg? A wunderkind. Also, some bloggers, a convicted real estate mogul, conductors, musicians, writers, ad infinitum. You’d be surprised how many wunderkinds there are out there.

C'mon, are the baseball pundits out there really that lazy and simple-minded? I mean, Batter Chatter would never fall into the trap of spitting out the same hackneyed terms used by mediocre sportswriters who are biding their time until their Chapt. 11 owner offers them a buyout.

Er, in fact, we did. In a post a few weeks ago about people describing Strasburg's repertoire in video-game terms, we said this:

Today of course marks the Major League debut of wunderkind pitcher Stephen Strasburg, and the MLB Network is capitalizing on the monstrous interest in the Nationals' #1 pick by showing the game tonight...

It seems Strasburg is simply too much of a wunderkind to describe him any other way: his age, his ability, his Germanic surname.

Dictionary.com defines "wunderkind" as "1. a wonder child or child prodigy. 2. a person who succeeds, esp. in business, at a comparatively early age."

Certainly both apply to Strasburg.

Then over to Thesaurus.com (will my children ever know what an actual reference book feels like?), where the suggested synonyms include: brain*, child genius, curiosity, enormity, freak*, genius, intellect, marvel, mastermind, miracle, monster, natural, one in a million, phenomenon, portent, rare bird, rarity, sensation, spectacle, stunner, talent, whiz kid, whiz*, wizard, wonder, wonder child. (The * denotes informal usage.)

We promise to not use wunderkind to describe Strasburg, who turns 22 next month, in these cyber-pages for a period of not less than 18 months--at which point Strasburg may still be a "wunder" (meaning "wonderful," according to Google's German-to-English translation), but most certainly will not be a "kind" (a "child", per Google Translate).

ESPN.com scribe Rick Reilly uses a loose translation of wunderkind in his name for Strasburg, "The Superkid."

Another baseball writer cliche made Delia Cabe's list: embattled. Among the "embattled" folks kicked around in the media these days are BP boss Tony Hayward, of course, Lindsay Lohan, GOP chairman Michael Steele, and Mets skipper Jerry Manuel.

Manuel of course was embattled before the Mets' recent hot streak, though dropping a pair this week in Puerto Rico likely has Jerry back in the 'battle.


[image: Yahoo]

Pavano Stays Off Eponymous List

Twins hurler Carl Pavano looked strong in shutting down the Metsies over the weekend, allowing just three hits while going the distance for his ninth win--and second consecutive complete game.

It's difficult to determine to what degree Pav's new porn-star moustache flummoxed the Mets batters. Twins fans love the 'stache; they've even taken to calling Pavano "Super Pavario."

All of that would've been inconceivable a few years ago, when Pavano incurred so many injuries with the Yankees (some might suggest they were, in fact, "injuries") that his teammates actually referred to the disabled list as "The Pavano."

In the Joe Torre/Tom Verducci book The Yankee Years, Mike Mussina explains the problems that befell the Yanks early in 2007 on page 388.

"Our problem right now is we have too many pitchers on the 15-day Pavano," said Moose. "That's what it's officially called now. Did you know that? The Pavano. His body just shut down from actually pitching for six weeks. It's like when you get an organ transplant and your body rejects it. His body rejected pitching. It's not used to it."

[image: NESN.com]

Yanks Thrive on 'Core' Values

With the Bombers facing old autumn nemesis the Los Angeles Dodgers out west this past weekend, the Gotham papers focused on the players' reunion with former skipper Joe Torre. Numerous papers invoked the increasingly popular phrase "Core Four" for the Yankee veteran quartet of Jeter, Rivera, Pettitte and Posada.

"Joe Torre knows sentiment will be pushed aside when Core Four Yankees visit Dodgers," read the Daily News headline Friday.

Going back to April, the Daily News reported: "This week's Sports Illustrated features a tremendous cover shot of the Core Four - Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera and Andy Pettitte - having some fun with each other."

Something called All Headline News used the phrase to explain why the Yanks won the World Series last fall: George Steinbrenner, a.k.a. "Boss" and the "Core Four" of Andy Pettitte, Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada are among nine reasons the New York Yankees won their 27th World Series Wednesday night.

The first references to the Yanks' Core Four appears to be around the time of the 2009 World Series.

It appears the Yankees aren't the only team with a Core Four. The Mets have one too, says the NY Post. Quick, can you name the foursome?

The Bombers group of Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte and Jorge Posada are know for World Series titles, while the Mets bunch of Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran and Johan Santana are distinguished by collapses and injuries.

NBC Sports even referred to D'Brickashaw Ferguson (D'Brickashaw Ferguson...now that's a name!) as part of the Jets' "Core Four", drawing the ire of one pinstripe-wearing reader.

Wrote WWNYGD:
HOW DARE YOU use a Yankees reference "Core Four" for the Jets.

Get it straight. "most" Yankees fans are Giants Fans. "most" Jets fans are Mets fans.

Oh snap!

No lesser light than Alex Rodriguez--most certainly not part of the Core Four--referred to the foursome, though not by its moniker, when describing his own cool relationship with Torre.

He tells the NY Times:

"I can’t say that I have the same relationship he does with Jorge and Pettitte and Mo and Jeet. I’d be lying to you. Those guys have a 10-, 12-year history. They won a lot of championships together."

Pettitte's three-year stint in Houston notwithstanding, it's more like a 15 year history for the Core Four, and that doesn't include the minors.

After all that time, you'd think Pettitte and Posada would have cool nicknames like the other half of the Core Four.

Handy Andy? Mr. Posada Head?


[image: sasquatchkid.tumblr.com]

Waiting For Good 'Joe'

When you think ballpark beverages, you think a cold beer up in the stands, and some Gatorade down in the dugout, unless Paul O'Neill has come out of retirement to smash the defenseless tub of sports drink to oblivion.

Yet there's a long history between baseball and coffee--especially among elite Yankees named Joe.

Joe DiMaggio of course was a spokesman for Mr. Coffee decades ago, causing many to think that the term "cup of joe" was a reference to the Yankee Sipper...er, Clipper.

In fact, cup of joe is named for former U.S. Navy Secretary Josephus Daniels, who eliminated booze from the officers' mess hall a half-century or so ago, which prompted the naval officers to refer to the next strongest drink available to them--coffee--as "a cup of joe."

It's interesting that DiMaggio was also known as Joltin' Joe; Jolt was a super-caffeinated cola (it billed itself as "The Espresso of Colas") that hit the beverage aisle in 1985, and has since been rebranded as an energy drink. Jolt's effect on the nervous system was similiar to the spiked coffee pots in baseball clubhouses before MLB started testing for uppers; rookies who didn't get the memo about the enhanced clubhouse coffee probably thought they were having a heart attack.

These days, I see Yankee Sipper...er, Clipper...uh, skipper Joe Girardi lending his name and visage for the new Dunkin Donuts "Box o' Joe." Girardi doesn't really strike me as a put-your-face-on-a-box-of-coffee kind of guy; he told MyFoxNY last month that Box o' Joe benefits his Catch 25 charity, which raises funds for Alzheimer's and cancer research, among other worthy causes.

His predecessor at the Bombers' helm was, of course, a Joe as well. But Joe Torre, unlike Joe DiMaggio and Joe Girardi, wasn't a pitchman for coffee. Torre hawks Bigelow Tea-- because there's no coffee in T-E-A-M, but there sure as hell is a T-E-A.

Seinfeld Gives Gaga the 'Finger'

Jerry Seinfeld of course mans the SNY booth for three innings during Mets-Tigers tonight, setting up the sure to be delightful reunion with Keith "I'm Keith Hernandez!" Hernandez.

Seinfeld is a bit fired up after Lady Gaga snuck into his empty luxury box at CitiField last week and made a scene, which included giving the crowd the finger.

Erected middle fingers are, of course, as old as peanuts and Cracker Jacks at the ballpark.

But, as is his m.o., Seinfeld has some fun with the concept of "The Finger"--as in, what makes it "the finger," and why do people get so upset when you isolate it from the rest of the finger family?

Jerry let 'er rip on The FAN earlier this week:

"You give people the finger and you get upgraded? Is that the world we're living in now? It's pathetic. And why is she giving the finger? How old is the finger? How'd it even get to be the finger? Somewhere along the line somebody decided this is the bad finger."

When you think of it, The Bad Finger is actually a better moniker for the middle finger than, simply, The Finger. Of course, there might be legal issues with the '60 Welsh pop band Badfinger, the vaguely Beatles-esque outfit with the extraordinarily long Wikipedia entry and the cheesy hit "Come and Get It" to its credit.

Jerry and ribeye steak-eater Keith will likely spend some time sharing their mutual distaste for kids today, and the strange customs they live by.

Seinfeld concludes:

"I look at Lady Gaga the way Keith Hernandez watches these kids when they pull the pocket out, they wear the inside-out pocket. ... Do you think he could understand that? He can't understand that. That's a new game, that's kids."


[image: Getty/AP]

Warner Wolf is in a 'Foul' Mood

Quiet day in baseball yesterday, though Reds catcher Ramon Hernandez did make some noise by rattling a tiebreaking homer off the Oakland Coliseum foul pole in the 10th inning, pacing the boys from Cincy to a 6-4 win.

Shots off the foul pole have to remind any New York native of a certain age of the inimitable Warner Wolf. Wolf of course was our local channel 2 sports guy who brought some SportsCenter shtick to the airwaves before there even was a SportsCenter.

Among his bits were a hearty "Let's go to the videotape!", "Gimme a break!," "BOOM!" and a little act he'd do every time a hitter rang one off the foul pole. No, it wasn't the foul pole to Wolf--it was the fair pole.

"Cuz if the ball hits it, " Wolf would exclaim, "it's a fair ball! C'mawn!"

Local sports guys are lucky if they get a few minutes in the newscasts today, and luckier still if more than a handful of people in the market even know their names in this ESPN age. It's hard to imagine people talking about them 20 years down the road.

Wolf left channel 2 about six years ago, and is currently toiling on the Imus show on radio. I also hear Warner Wolf's voice on various commercial voice-overs for cars these days.

It doesn't seem like any of Wolf's shtick bits held up all that well over time--you really can't "go to the videotape" in the digital age, Nell Carter bogarted the "gimme a break" phrase, and you really can't work a sanguine "BOOM!!" into a car commercial.

The fair pole, on the other hand--maybe ol' Warner had something there. No less a source than UrbanDictionary.com has an entry for "fair pole", and there's a blog that had some momentum until, oh, late 2008 called The Fair Pole.

And this being 2010 and all, Facebook, of course, has a page dedicated to "Fans Who Think the FOUL Pole Should Be Renamed the FAIR Pole."

Warner Wolf does not appear to be among the 33 Friends of Fans Who Think the FOUL Pole Should be Renamed the FAIR Pole.

Robinson Cano's 'Kitchen' Confidential

If you found a strange man in your kitchen, you'd probably call the cops, or beat him with your fire extinguisher.

But that's what happened to Yankees second-bagger Robinson Cano last night, according to YES-man Michael Kay.

The Phillies were having their way with the Yanks in the Bronx, and J.C. Romero looked to get the torrid Cano out in the ninth inning. A fastball zoomed in on his hands, and even appeared to have hit Robbie C.

In fact, the ball hit the bat, and went about two feet past the plate.

"He got right in Cano's kitchen!" howled Kay as Cano, currently the A.L.'s leading hitter, lazily trotted in the direction of first.

Getting in a guy's kitchen, or even his bread basket (which is way into his kitchen), has been said by baseball announcers since I was a kid.

The implication is that a pitcher got way in tight on the batter--too close to home for the batter's comfort level.

But why the kitchen? The kitchen is probably the most public part of the house, though the family room and its big ol' plasma TV has a claim to that honor too. You have friends over for dinner. You might play cards with your buds around the kitchen table.

If you really, truly wanted to suggest that a pitcher got up (too) close and (too) personal on a batter, why not say he got in his bathroom? Or his bedroom?

Or we could sex the term up a bit, and say the pitcher got in the batter's boudoir.

Cano wouldn't want Romero, or any of the Phillies, in his kitchen. (Ryan Howard, for one, looks like he could cut a serious swath of destruction through one's pantry.) But Robbie would probably be even more displeased to find one of the Fightin' Phils in his boudoir.

[image: SI.com]