Friday, June 18, 2010

Robinson Cano's 'Kitchen' Confidential

If you found a strange man in your kitchen, you'd probably call the cops, or beat him with your fire extinguisher.

But that's what happened to Yankees second-bagger Robinson Cano last night, according to YES-man Michael Kay.

The Phillies were having their way with the Yanks in the Bronx, and J.C. Romero looked to get the torrid Cano out in the ninth inning. A fastball zoomed in on his hands, and even appeared to have hit Robbie C.

In fact, the ball hit the bat, and went about two feet past the plate.

"He got right in Cano's kitchen!" howled Kay as Cano, currently the A.L.'s leading hitter, lazily trotted in the direction of first.

Getting in a guy's kitchen, or even his bread basket (which is way into his kitchen), has been said by baseball announcers since I was a kid.

The implication is that a pitcher got way in tight on the batter--too close to home for the batter's comfort level.

But why the kitchen? The kitchen is probably the most public part of the house, though the family room and its big ol' plasma TV has a claim to that honor too. You have friends over for dinner. You might play cards with your buds around the kitchen table.

If you really, truly wanted to suggest that a pitcher got up (too) close and (too) personal on a batter, why not say he got in his bathroom? Or his bedroom?

Or we could sex the term up a bit, and say the pitcher got in the batter's boudoir.

Cano wouldn't want Romero, or any of the Phillies, in his kitchen. (Ryan Howard, for one, looks like he could cut a serious swath of destruction through one's pantry.) But Robbie would probably be even more displeased to find one of the Fightin' Phils in his boudoir.


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